In the hopes that this prevents me from sending it to my grandfather, here’s what i’ve written in reply to his latest tea-drenched (but racist-flavored) email forward. Here’s hoping the flavoring comes from the originator.
Here we go. Names omitted to protect them from themselves:
I’ve received a lot of emails from you over the last couple years, and I am always, always tempted to reply. Maybe today’s the day I send it.
I took the liberty of replacing your term “FREE STUFF” with “INVESTMENT CAPITAL”. The argument still doesn’t hold water, but it’s closer. As Oliver Wendell Holmes, said, “I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.”
I consider the “FREE STUFF” you refer to an investment, to oversimplify. Consider the recent controversy here in Massachusetts that the Boston Herald so gleefully reported.
Basically, welfare recipients were able to use their electronic benefit cards to buy lots of stuff they probably didn’t need. And do you know what? I don’t care. As a taxpayer, I don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they’re improving it, but it is a good example to illustrate my priorities. Bear with me.
I don’t care if 19 out of 20 people receiving so-called FREE STUFF is a waste of our effort. It’s that 20th that matters. If that 20th person goes on to be a good subway driver, or a manager of a McDonald’s, or a good schoolteacher, then it’s worth it. Maybe that 20th person’s a waste of oxygen, but has a kid who grows up to be a good engineer. It doesn’t even matter. We’re playing a long game here. That 1 out of 20 makes it worthwhile at any price.
You can call it naive, you can call it wasteful. I call it investment. It’s flawed investment, flawed generosity, but what isn’t flawed in this world. The other choice is to not invest, to make a virtue of selfishness and put our faith solely in fortuitously intersecting selfishnesses, or as some would prefer to call it, ‘the free market’.
Obama: Until there’s evidence to the contrary, he’s too good a man for the job.
Borders: Everyone’s able to make this country better. Many are willing and we should be pleased to welcome them.
Language: Do you have any idea how much of Europe speaks English now? Because it’s useful. So is Spanish in lots of parts of this country. So be it.
Culture: Evolves every single day and those who attempt to stop it will just get tired.
Drug Free: See my previous point. I don’t care and it’s not worth our trouble to find out, unless it’s to get them help.
From the Hub of the whole damn Universe in the the socialist workers’ paradise of Massachusetts,
P.S. I fervently hope that I shouldn’t be reading anything into the animated monkey image attached.
On May 23, 2012, at 4:51 PM, MY IGNORANT-ASS GRANDFATHER wrote:
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Teabaggy McTeabagger <email@example.com>
Date: Wed, May 23, 2012 at 10:04 AM
Subject: investment capital
I AM FORWARDING THIS EMAIL THAT I RECEIVED TODAY TO A FEW OF THE “THINKERS” IN MY ADDRESS BOOK. IT REFLECTS THE FEELINGS OF A LOT OF PEOPLE.
I have never heard this said as simply or as well. Class war at its best.
The folks who are getting the INVESTMENT CAPITAL don’t like the folks who are paying for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL, because the folks who are paying for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL can no longer afford to pay for both the INVESTMENT CAPITAL and their own stuff.
And, the folks who are paying for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL want the INVESTMENT CAPITAL to stop.
And the folks who are getting the INVESTMENT CAPITAL want even more INVESTMENT CAPITAL on top of the INVESTMENT CAPITAL they are already getting!
Now… the people who are forcing the people who pay for the investment capital have told the people who are RECEIVING the INVESTMENT CAPITAL that the people who are PAYING for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.
So… the people who are GETTING the INVESTMENT CAPITAL have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their investment capital and giving them the INVESTMENT CAPITAL in the first place.
We have let the INVESTMENT CAPITAL giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting INVESTMENT CAPITAL than paying for the investment capital.
Now understand this. All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded. The reason?
The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them.
The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, 236 years ago. The number of people now getting INVESTMENT CAPITAL outnumbers the people paying for the INVESTMENT CAPITAL. We have one chance to change that in 2012. Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it, especially if the present administration gets it way and gives illegals aliens the right to vote.
If you don’t believe this can happen look at Greece and the election that just took place in France. Now France is a Socialist Country with a 75% tax rate on those that PAY for INVESTMENT CAPITAL .
ELECTION 2012 IS COMING
A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!
I’M 100% for PASSING THIS ON !!!
For all our sake PLEASE Take a Stand!!!
Language: English only
Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!
NO freebies to: Non-Citizens!
There’s so much more to say, of course, so tempting to use this same metaphor to point out how many of the folks he thinks are so giving of FREE STUFF are not only not paying for it, but receiving it. But i’ll content myself with having not hit the Send button.
Or did i?