Over the course of the last eighteen months, just as you might have good days and bad days at work, there have been good days and bad days reading the newspaper. On some days, i turn off the twitters at night and feel like any day now our fraudulent, bigoted, corrupt, degenerated, suborned excuse for a President is going to be run to ground and paraded through the streets shorn of all his lies. On other nights i feel like it’s all going to fizzle, like the Red Sox squandering loaded bases with nobody out, and we’re going to have to sit there and watch while the Republicans get everything they ever wanted and be praised for it.
It’s not just that i’m so often of two minds about whether or not he’s going to get caught; sometimes those nights where it seems like he’s going to triumph make me doubt the whole thing. Not in the sense of believing the things that he says, because they’re self-evidently ridiculous, but at least wondering if there’s a there, there. What if the dots don’t connect on Russia? What if Stormy Daniels’ lawyer is all style and no substance? Or what if instead of the grand slam, Robert Mueller hits a standup double, but the rest of the government’s already resolved itself to strike out without taking the bat off its shoulder, so to speak?
At that point, i start to think about what the Republican dystopia looks like when it entrenches itself. Even in the wildest horrors, Trump’s most brazen corruption doesn’t outlive him (unless you believe the stories about him lining up Ivanka in six years and getting the Russians to hand it to her). But his corruption ranges from insulting and tacky to damaging our foreign policy—its the lasting damage that i worry about. The selling out of the environment at the last moment that crisis can be mitigated, the war declared on the less fortunate and the less white, the blatant effort to destroy a government we spent two hundred years working on.
And i don’t know if it’s the relentlessly, regrettably evenhanded mainstream media giving his lies equal weight to facts, evidence, hell, even his own words back to haunt him. Or if it’s the lies themselves, undermining the truth with quantity if not quality. Maybe its just the sheer longevity of it all, the fact that this has lasted eighteen months without this unbalanced machine spinning itself apart, maybe that makes me wonder if it’ll hold together somehow and refuse all our efforts to tip it over.
But there’s a deep breath to be taken, and time to be taken to consider real things that did happen, that can be analyzed on their merits.
If nothing else, the President’s own words prove he’s a bigot, prove he sympathizes with Nazis and the KKK.
If nothing else, the President has hired people who’ve been proven corrupt well in excess of past standards for front-page scandal.
If nothing else, the President is violating the letter and spirit of existing laws regarding profiting from positions in government.
If nothing else, the President has hired people who’ve been proven to be in league with foreign powers whose interests are not our own.
If nothing else, the President has lied to the citizens of this country literally thousands of times.
If nothing else, the President has supervised an inadequate response to a natural disaster and contributed to the needless deaths of thousands of American citizens in Puerto Rico.
If nothing else, the President admitted to, boasted of harassing women.
If nothing else, the President’s representative admitted to paying off other women to quash stories of extramarital affairs.
If nothing else, the President personally instructed our country’s border patrol to separate children from their parents.
If nothing else, there are these things and more that are generally undisputed, and it’s important to count them up and remind ourselves that other Presidents and other politicians have been ended for less.
But then there’s the preponderance of coincidences that simply can’t-just-be with Russia, the rancid smell of his finances that we’ve never even seen, the sketchy deals with China, in the Middle East, the parts of the dossier that keep adding up.
The pee tape.
So i wake up and remind myself that this isn’t normal and was never normal, and that decades of Republican willingness to cheat has culminated in rule by a group of people that do only that, while decent people are somewhat understandably unprepared to manage enemies for whom decency has no meaning. There can be no quit on this, though; we need to believe in Robert Mueller, believe in the Pee Tape as strongly on the day the news comes as we did the day this asshole took power. Our job is still to be the conscience, the backbone, the steel in the trap when the people doing the work spring it. And we can’t let our fatigue turn into doubt.